Shopping for Happiness on Bleak Friday

What can we do to have a happy and meaningful life? Researchers say that happiness is not something that can be acquired or achieved through material possessions. Yet this year some 147 million Americans are rushing to find shopping bargains on the day after thanksgiving, a day known as Black Friday. If the shopping frenzy that is associated with this day is supposed to make us look forward to the holiday season, the day would be more apply labeled Bleak Friday.

Americans are bombarded with shopping possibilities. At the same time those of us who research happiness know that people are no happier now than they were in the past. Happiness has not increased since the 1950’s. Living standards have increased, but happiness has not. Only about 45 % of the richest Americans say that they are happy, whereas 33% of poorer Americans also say that they are happy. More than two thousand years ago, Aristotle said that more than anything else we seek happiness, either for its own sake or in other things we hope and work for such as money, beauty, health, power. We hope these things will make us happy. Once we get above the poverty level, however, material things do not make us happy. In fact there is nothing like shopping on a Black Friday, with the frenzy of showing, pushing, grabbing, to make one feel down and depressed.   

Thanksgiving is approaching. Traditionally it has one of the few days when shops were closed.  In the absence of commercial activity, people visited with family, ate, drank, and told stories, watched parades and sports on television, or read books. This tradition has now changed. As the paragraph below indicates, even Thanksgiving is no longer a day to be shared with family and friends. The sacred god of shopping has descended on the 4^th Thursday in November bringing with it incredible sales that evidently cannot be passed up.

NEW YORK — Target Corp. will open its doors at 9 p.m. on Thanksgiving, three hours earlier than a year ago, to kick off the holiday shopping season. The discounter joins several other major retailers, including WalMart Stores Inc., that are opening earlier in the evening on the holiday and staggering deals over the two-day period. Over the years, stores have been expanding their hours on Black Friday to get ahead of the competition, but the kickoff is increasingly happening right after shoppers finish their turkey feast.

Shopping can be fun; it can provide a brief uplifting feeling, a touch of excitement. But are we really giving up one of the few days a year when we can spend time with family, something that has been proven to actually make us happier and healthier, in order to shop. What are we shopping for? Is it for the people we leave at home on Thanksgiving in order to go and buy things to give them on Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanza?   Will this shopping frenzy fulfill something that is missing from our life?

What does make us happy? Researchers agree that our genes help, our families and friends help, a sense of spirituality helps, goals help, what else? Psychologist Carol Ryff has proposed six key components of well-being and happiness. These include positive self-regard or self-acceptance, satisfying relationships, a sense of direction and purpose in life, feeling that one is using one’s potential and abilities, that our lives have a purpose; having choices in shaping life; and a sense of awareness that we can manage the stresses and demands of life. Happy people also choose to see the world and themselves in positive and affirming ways. They surround themselves with happy people. Those people are not to be found in WalMart on Black Friday or Black Thursday.

Ageism and Politics

The presidential election of 2012 has been acknowledged as a victory for diversity; a victory for the new face of a multicultural United States. Yet the Democratic Party missed reaching one important segment of the population; older adults. Surprisingly, the majority of older Americans voted Republican, in many cases against their own interest.

Ageism around the World

As the birthday card above underscores, ageist stereotypes abound, despite the fact that an increasing number of older men and women are living long, healthy, productive lives. Global aging is a reality. People are living longer. The number of older men and women is growing. At the same time, ageism is on the rise. Older workers increasingly find themselves battling negative and ageist stereotypes.  In a recent survey of people over sixty, nearly 80 percent reported experiencing ageism. Many workers feel that they are being ignored or not taken seriously because of their age.

I am a professor of psychology. I am also a women approaching “elder” status and have recently been exposed to numerous incidences of “ageism.” Some of these incidents are subtle. In a conversation with a younger colleague about the purchase of a new computer, for example, he stated that his mother had tried the computer and found it to be “age” friendly. In a recent meeting, I attempted to express my thoughts on a proposed project by pointing out that we had attempted a similar pattern of action in the past and it had not been successful. My comments were met with dismissal even derision. Disrespectful treatment to older workers, especially older women, is not new or rare. Ideas espoused by “older” workers are often met with condescension. Similar ideas and thoughts proposed by newly minted academics are more likely to viewed as new and cutting edge. While there are certainly many times when this scenario is the case, ageism usually shapes the treatment of older workers.  Indeed, recent studies have indicated that ageism is more widespread than sexism and racism. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has reported a more than 24 percent increase in the number of age-discrimination complaints filed this year compared with the previous two years. Employees over the age of 50 are considered "old" and report not being offered the same opportunities and support as younger colleagues.

Ageism, a term first proposed by gerontologist Robert Butler in the 1960’s, is a form of prejudice that results from a widespread and deep-seated fear of the aging process (Palmore, 2001). It encompasses prejudicial attitudes and discriminatory practices toward older adults and leads to a fear of one’s own aging as well as a general distancing from older people (Butler, 1963). Ageism is not based on biological factors alone; it is created and maintained by institutional, social, and cultural values that lead people to denigrate age. Cultural norms and values about old age are mired in metaphors of disability, decline, and death. Ageism is reinforced by widespread negative imagery. Ageist media portrayals are so widespread that they are often not even recognized. Denigration of age and the ideas of older adults lead them to denigrate themselves. It also promotes conformity to ageist stereotypes. 

The Gendered Face of Ageism

What’s more, gender bias compounds ageism. Older women are much more likely to be subjected to ageist treatment. Older women are subjected to “double jeopardy”—they are victims of age as well as gender discrimination. Ageism has been shown to lead to widespread marginalization, age inequality, ageist language, and age segregation.  Ageism is a central feminist issue which, unfortunately, is not often addressed by feminist scholars. It is widespread in institutions of higher education. As women in academic institutions age, they become increasingly invisible. Studies indicate that women who reach the highest ranks in academic institutions are often older than the men who reach these ranks--full professors; they therefore have a very short period of time before they begin to be subjected to ageist attitudes and treatment.

The internalization of ageist messages lead “elder” faculty to doubt their abilities, and lower their expectations for accomplishment. When not otherwise silenced they engage in self-silencing.  Younger colleagues, even female colleagues, tend to patronize older colleagues, especially older female colleagues.  Younger faculty are more likely to be viewed as dynamic, interesting, and influential, whereas older faculty especially female faculty are excluded or subjected to “mom-ism”. Although there are often campus organizations for various women to come together, very few address issues of identity and age. Older women, unlike women of color and lesbian women, have not focused research on their own identities. Older female faculty should become visible and vocal. They should study themselves and write about their own and other older women’s life experiences. They should incorporate issues of aging into their teaching and advocate for older women and men.

As academics devoted to diversity we should give voice and respect to all contributions. Institutional organizations which promote diversity, equality, and justice generally should also include the promotion of awareness of ageism. Awareness, advocacy, and scholarship, are key components of successfully combating ageism.

Ageism in Psychology

Studies have shown that ageism is widespread in clinical practice. There is a critical lack of psychologists, therapists, counselors, and social workers who are trained to work with older adults. Older patients are often viewed as set in their ways and unable to change their behavior. Given the growing number of older adults, this deficit in treatment presents a critical problem. Psychologists need to respond to ageism the same way they do when a person is discriminated against because of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or a disability. APA's Committee on Aging (CONA) has drafted a resolution against ageism that was approved by APA's Council of Representatives in February 2002. The resolution states that APA is against ageism "in all its forms" and emphasizes APA's commitment to support efforts to eliminate it. APA’s Div. 20 is working to counteract workplace and other age stereotypes by addressing the need for more trained gero-psychologists and promoting age-friendly environments for the growth and development of people of all ages, including older adults. To this point these baby steps have not had significant impact. As the birthday card below illustrates, ageism is the only “ism” which is widely accepted and reinforced by almost all forms of the media. 

 

For words of wisdom from the past, the great Persian poet Saadi who lived and wrote in the 13^th century:
In many lands I have wandered, and
wondered, and listened, and seen;
and many my friends and companions,
and teachers and lovers have been.
And nowhere a corner was there but I
gathered up pleasure and gain;
from a hundred gardens the rose-blooms,
from a thousand granaries grain.

I have spent many years studying, teaching, writing, traveling the world, I hope I still have something of value to say. I would like the opportunity to continue to share what I have learned, to contribute, I do not want to be silenced.